Marijke
Two years ago I met a boy who has had a rare effect on me today. By the way, it was a very unexpected encounter because I was single and quite satisfied at the time … I thought. I had an appointment at McDonald’s with a number of people I had met the day before. They were sitting at the window and still eating. So I decided to wait outside with a friend. A boy was sitting with them (he was not there the day before), with his back to the window. So I looked at his back, and at that moment I felt my heart really open fully, and then I saw a ray of light coming out. It was a wonderful feeling, really unforgettable. So I immediately went inside, because I really had to be able to look that boy urgently in his eyes, and know who the hell could have such an effect on me; and then we both knew it was going to be a wonderful night to start …
Then experienced a huge magnetic attraction in all areas, 1001 feelings in 1 moment (happy, confused, shy, curious, warmth, familiar, all your past that is reviewed, happy, sure and absolutely absolute love, the desire for your own soul gluing his and then everything just feels perfect as it should feel, very much like to be together, the same feeling and idea about children, relationships, the same interests, the same kind of humor (in our case sarcasm), sensitivity, and absolutely no being able to stay together, endearment, understanding, …) we stayed together that night as the best buddies, we both experienced just about the most beautiful night of our lives.
So far our relationship has been with parts and pieces; but always when we meet, that magnetic attraction is fully present (mutually), and it hurts and virtue to see each other again at the same time . in short: short meetings, in-between periods, looking each other up again …
What is difficult in our relationship is that we have the same relationship traumas in our past. We are both extremely intensely sensitive, so the wounds are just as intense and deeply beaten, and our mind wants to protect us. Anyway, it is from the meeting up to now a lot of material that stirs up, doubt, confusion, sadness, but also that familiar feeling and the magnetic attraction that both say: I feel nowhere in my life as at home as with you.
We both wanted and want a love affair from our heart; that desire is very strong, but at the moment there is an almost constant fear that, apparently, wants to save us in case we should be together, but still cannot stay together . That going back apart already feels deadly painful. Premature fear perhaps, but maybe not …
I’m currently alone, and S. has been in a relationship for a year and a half; he likes the girl in question, but in the meantime he has visited me again, resulting in magical moments, followed by pain , doubt and confusion from the two sides. I am also very confused myself, and absolutely unable to enter into a permanent relationship with anyone.
I don’t know if this is soul love. I doubt everything , except for the common thread that since that meeting, something has happened (with me) that is absolutely rare, or that feels. But if it is soul love, then the roses have a lot of thorns, but they are blood-stained …
An almost unbearable intensity, but also the almost-fairy-like experience of seeing yourself live in a man’s body. I have often shaken my head because I thought I was trying to convince myself something: “It is exactly me when I see him busy”
What I find most special is that the time and everything that comes to a standstill, or happens somewhere in the background, vaguely .. as if you are stuck in a bubble, and really are completely focused on each other and aligned. the only thing that counts at that moment and is important …
S. tells me that now and then he still dreams of the eroticism that we have experienced together; and I: yes, it is incomparably different. Afterwards I did a one-night stand here and there, but I just stopped in the middle of it, crying. such an intensity of love and connectedness on all levels that a person has in him makes me just know that I only experience that once in my life. With previous partners (for S.) I have also experienced intense moments (because I am 1 mega-block intensity on myself), but that real unconditional feeling of love and connection with another person than myself is intended for S., and I know it will stay that way forever; I KNOW THAT.
Our love gives me a feeling of two fairies in 1 transparent bubble, perfectly happy and satisfied as one in the bubble. A lot of love, a lot of love, connectedness and pleasure … (laughing and chatting about everything, and viewing life from 2 fairy eyes instead of 4 … And also as a love mantle to put together as one over the world … Sweet eh! !!
Our relationship has ended: well, I have described that a bit, but in short it feels like I was complete during the meeting, and afterwards ‘torn off’, and now working hard on further self-knowledge. But I’m restless. I was restless before S., and I am restless after S., I only get calm when we are together. Like a baby lying blissfully on the mother’s breast, crying heart-rending when it’s gone. They have always been brief encounters until now, with a whirlwind of feelings. Too many in one go. it is always delicious, and it is always just as painful.
I am not looking for a soul love again.
About 10 years before I met S. I had 2 blue flames tattooed in my groin. I designed the tattoo myself based on the desire or feeling: that is what I want in my life. I was very small when I already knew that a body dies, but a soul never. Then I was very early, and in my hormone time already searching intensely for my equal. I’m bored to death with sex alone. so many disappointments. The idea of the twinflame is not strange to me, it was already in my mind and heart long before I had read about it; But on the other hand, I also have a very down-to-earth and realistic side in me, which again says with S. just the opposite of what I feel (or know) throughout my life. For what / who I am looking for knowing that it / he exists but the feeling has started to falter because of very deep traumas that are not yet healed. That is why I want to do some research, inform me, what I have never done before, or not with a desire to that extent. I also want to say that during the first meeting (I was then living in Ghent, now back with my mother in my parental home) it turned out that we live only 2 kilometers apart (our parental home), we are both only children, and around the same time before our meeting, both were engaged in a similar traumatic relationship. We met each other when we had definitely not recovered from it. I also want to say that during the first meeting (I was then living in Ghent, now back with my mother in my parental home) it turned out that we live only 2 kilometers apart (our parental home), we are both only children, and around the same time before our meeting, both were engaged in a similar traumatic relationship. We met each other when we had definitely not recovered from it. I also want to say that during the first meeting (I was then living in Ghent, now back with my mother in my parental home) it turned out that we live only 2 kilometers apart (our parental home), we are both only children, and around the same time before our meeting, both were engaged in a similar traumatic relationship. We met each other when we had definitely not recovered from it.
My tip for others is; -cherish the beauty of your fragile eyes (embrace your own vulnerability)
– soul love is rarely beautiful, and that is precisely why it is quite painful. Know that she can be so painful because of her rare beauty. Rarity is rare without problems.
-If you feel like you are going through hell: a medal always has 2 sides. The deeper the hell, the higher the heaven.
– Grab the meaning of the encounter with 2 hands: you can learn a lot about yourself … –
Know that your love knows or feels it when you are not together and you think of him / her; also know that there is always an answer, but then you have to be quiet inside, otherwise you won’t hear it ..