Ruud

I am not sure where to start .. I wonder if my ex-boyfriend is a soul love, I don’t know. The only thing I know is that what we had together and still have was very special and that I never want to go for less than that. It feels like my love for him is who I am. I have no control over it and I don’t want to have it either, I love him and that is the only thing that counts …. that feeling helped me to throw all barriers and defenses in our relationship overboard because the only thing that counted was our love . Our relationship has always been difficult. In certain areas we are not at all alike and it took a long time before it felt really familiar. At the same time there has always been some kind of recognition that I cannot express in words. As if he brings me into contact with what I am deeply. I “know” in his presence. The strange thing is, and I can hardly explain that to anyone, that I “know” that he loves me in the same way. He has always said that I am his great love, but he broke up because he does not know what he wants with his life, whether it is compatible with us and does not even know if I am the right one for him. That brings me to doubt, but at the same time I know what it is that we have had and that it is out of time. I also “know” that I am good for him, that he is not only worthy of sacrificing for me, but that I am also worthy of sacrificing …. unless his deepest desires (perhaps roaming the world forever) are incompatible with me. In the beginning of our relationship I had to endure the most intense fears in order to stay with him. That had to do with fear of abandonment because of a traumatic childhood, but I also wonder if those almost unbearable fears were also so intense because he unleashed so much in me. the only thing I knew then was that I didn’t know how to live on if I had to let go because the fears would make my functioning permanently impossible. Fortunately things have improved over time and by the end of our relationship they were gone for quite some time. That had to do with fear of abandonment because of a traumatic childhood, but I also wonder if those almost unbearable fears were also so intense because he unleashed so much in me. the only thing I knew then was that I didn’t know how to live on if I had to let go because the fears would make my functioning permanently impossible. Fortunately things have improved over time and by the end of our relationship they were gone for quite some time. That had to do with fear of abandonment because of a traumatic childhood, but I also wonder if those almost unbearable fears were also so intense because he unleashed so much in me. the only thing I knew then was that I didn’t know how to live on if I had to let go because the fears would make my functioning permanently impossible. Fortunately things have improved over time and by the end of our relationship they were gone for quite some time.
What is my question … is it possible that someone recognizes you on a soul level and later doubts about that due to personal problems?
Can you be each other’s soul partners while you are not so well matched in some areas? I have the idea that we complement each other very much in some areas because of our differences, while our basic sense of life was the same. But there were also aspects of my personality that really belong to me that I could not share with him. I thought that was a pity, but it didn’t matter, it didn’t match what we had. Our sex life has never been so special … I think because we both had emotional blockages during our relationship, but also because he was not in contact with his body due to continuous work stress. Somehow I am convinced that we could have experienced much more and clicked much better in that area if the circumstances had been different, but sometimes I doubt it.
I would like to get an answer to my questions, but at the same time it doesn’t matter. I know what had and have and that ultimately it goes as it should. (Ruud)

Answer
If you doubt whether someone is your soul love, then it is not him, soul love releases feelings that you have never known! Something that is unique … you shouldn’t look for true love, because you won’t find it … that happens to you … and it can be at a time when it doesn’t suit you at all … that you already have a relationship … .. you feel true love… then everything is good and stays good too, then you fully accept each other and you can totally be yourself together, you don’t have to be ashamed of anything for nothing because loving each other is true love in true love … So don’t look any further…. true love finds you… ..or maybe not or never… .. (unknown)

Answer
Hello Ruud, I recognize my own story in everything you tell, it is even scary. I just finished my story with the question that lately I sometimes wonder if I talked to myself … that my ex my soulmate / love. You have told your story very nicely, I’m not very good at that. But I recognize it completely. Also my ex and I do not match in certain areas, our sex life was not very special and I also think that my ex and I could have experienced much more and clicked if the circumstances had changed. I cannot answer your question since I actually have the same question. The only thing I know is what I feel and what I have felt for him and still feel is very special, in whatever form. It is different from everything else I have ever felt for someone. Even now, now that he and I only have a friendly relationship, my feelings for him are different than for any other friend of mine. Obviously because I have a past with him, but my feeling now is no longer the way I felt when we were together. Sometimes I cannot express my feelings for him: what is it, I think. I don’t know … it’s very special, that’s what I do know. But is it not true that we lead our lives to the choices we make. Maybe he also feels what you feel but he chooses something different than what you would choose. I don’t know, but my feeling really tells me that our stories are the same. My ex has always told me that he loves me dearly and has never felt so deeply for someone, but it did matter because he felt he cared too little. I always deserve more, he has said. He then struggled with various personal issues that prevented him from going the way he wanted and what he thought I deserve. I understand that every person says that this is a weak excuse, but I believe him 100% because I feel his love. It is also what you say that you can hardly tell anyone that you “know” that he loves you in the same way. With friends we talk about love and I actually always talk about my ex in those conversations. I try to explain to them that I feel his love, I know. But I can’t explain it because I can’t find the words to describe that feeling. You say an answer is not necessary because you know what you had and that ultimately it goes as it should and I think that is what it is about. I don’t think you (and I) have to constantly ask ourselves how or what. I understand from your story that you and he are still in active contact, just like my ex and me. If you can deal with him that way without having a negative impact on your life then embrace it and then it will come when it has to come. That is how I deal with it. I often doubt, after 9 years, to tell him my feelings now … but I leave that to the moment. (Unknown) I understand from your story that you and he are still in active contact, just like my ex and me. If you can deal with him that way without having a negative impact on your life then embrace it and then it will come when it has to come. That is how I deal with it. I often doubt, after 9 years, to tell him my feelings now … but I leave that to the moment. (Unknown) I understand from your story that you and he are still in active contact, just like my ex and me. If you can deal with him that way without having a negative impact on your life then embrace it and then it will come when it has to come. That is how I deal with it. I often doubt, after 9 years, to tell him my feelings now … but I leave that to the moment. (Unknown)