Unknown

I met my friend about six years ago through a chat program. I was reading his profile and had not chatted with him yet but knew that he belonged to me even though we had not chatted a word. He started chatting with me (he visited me) and so it started that we were chatting deep into the night. I loved him, he loved me, we didn’t have to say anything to each other and yet we knew what we meant from each other. We called it love on the first chat. I was in the middle of a divorce (it ran before I met my boyfriend) and his relationship wasn’t that good either, even though he lived with his ex, he also had his own home. After chatting for two and a half months we wanted to meet each other because the tension was very high, it was crazy for words, we could only think of each other all day and it was as if we were floating. The meeting was even more intense, we saw each other and literally flown into each other’s arms, we were at least in the middle of the room for at least 20 minutes, saying nothing, just holding on to each other and feeling because what energy is going through your body that moment. So it was not only love at first chat but also at first sight. The next day we were already at the stage where we decided that we could no longer live without each other, that felt so good. That while I had decided to stay alone with the children and not start a relationship at all for the time being. In the course of the months we reached higher and higher in our relationship, there was little talk, but it didn’t seem to be necessary, because we understood each other. Until his behavior started to change. He was depressed and it seemed like separation anxiety, he could not be alone and did not want this either. It was as if he was going to stand in the way of his own happiness (he had a pretty negative past). Now at this moment our relationship is over, as it has often happened and how difficult this may be, I really want to continue because a flashing light relationship requires a lot of my energy, if I continue with this, then I will fall down. Going alone with the children is pretty hard for me, it’s like I’m missing a piece of myself. We have a child together that he does not want to have contact with because he has to face me and I know he can’t. I feel it around me, as if it is looking at me, I feel it from a distance, if I do not carry negative thoughts with me because that was the problem in our relationship, thoughts went beyond feeling in the long run (from both sides) that made sure that we no longer became absorbed in our love and feeling but in our negative line of thought. Is it possible that we know that we are soulmates, that this goes beyond ordinary love but does not know how to deal with this? Feelings are so strong that it turns into fears from both sides, but the fears feel each other, which gives a double opposition. that this goes beyond ordinary love but doesn’t know how to deal with this? Feelings are so strong that it turns into fears from both sides, but the fears feel each other, which gives a double opposition. that this goes beyond ordinary love but doesn’t know how to deal with this? Feelings are so strong that it turns into fears from both sides, but the fears feel each other, which gives a double opposition.

Answer
Confrontations and dilemmas. Your bond certainly goes beyond ‘ordinary’ love. It has the characteristics of soul love. Dealing with soul love always gives many confrontations. In the first place to yourself but also to each other. With your soul love you suddenly understand who you really are, without any mask, without personality. (For example, you find out that you only did certain things to please someone else.) As a result, you often discover things about yourself that don’t suit you but that are part of your everyday ‘mask’. You then have to make a choice for yourself whether you want to change yourself or not. These can be difficult dilemmas that cause a lot of confrontation with yourself. People can decide that this will make it all too intense and, for example, no longer want contact with the other. As a result, others are suddenly so preoccupied with themselves, with their own change that they can ‘no longer have anything’ (emotionally speaking, you can only act a certain amount). Give each other space. But how do you deal with it when your soul love no longer wants confrontation or suddenly focuses on itself? You thought you had the ultimate love connection. You also have that and you will never lose it again. But you have to find a way to get along in everyday life. The only thing that works is letting go of each other and giving each other space. Without expectations, without conditions, without claims. Exactly as soul love is! Let the other person go through their own necessary development. Give the other person the space to process things and to catch their breath. Accept every decision of your soul love in advance. And then see how it goes. Speak things out to each other as much as you can, that is clear. Mainly continue to lead yourself. Don’t let your life lead by what the other person does or does not do. Don’t make yourself dependent on the other. Don’t follow him or her, don’t wait. Just live your own life. Don’t feel hurt! You never want to hurt the other. He or she is unlikely to be able to respond to himself or herself other than he or she does. Usually the other has a hard time with it as you. Above all, keep looking at the positive things it has brought you and keep bringing. Do not see it as something that is taken from you, but as something that you have received! You can’t get anything better. (Tiny) Mainly continue to lead yourself. Do not let your life lead by what the other person does or does not do. Don’t make yourself dependent on the other. Don’t follow him or her, don’t wait. Just live your own life. Don’t feel hurt! You never want to hurt the other. He or she is unlikely to be able to respond to himself or herself other than he or she does. Usually the other has a hard time with it as you. Above all, keep looking at the positive things it has brought you and keep bringing. Do not see it as something that is taken from you, but as something that you have received! You can’t get anything better. (Tiny) Mainly continue to lead yourself. Do not let your life lead by what the other person does or does not do. Don’t make yourself dependent on the other. Don’t follow him or her, don’t wait. Just live your own life. Don’t feel hurt! You never want to hurt the other. He or she is unlikely to be able to respond to himself or herself other than he or she does. Usually the other has a hard time with it as you. Above all, keep looking at the positive things it has brought you and keep bringing. Do not see it as something that is taken from you, but as something that you have received! You can’t get anything better. (Tiny) You never want to hurt the other. He or she is unlikely to be able to respond to himself or herself other than he or she does. Usually the other has a hard time with it as you. Above all, keep looking at the positive things it has brought you and keep bringing. Do not see it as something that is taken from you, but as something that you have received! You can’t get anything better. (Tiny) You never want to hurt the other. He or she is unlikely to be able to respond to himself or herself other than he or she does. Usually the other has a hard time with it as you. Above all, keep looking at the positive things it has brought you and keep bringing. Do not see it as something that is taken from you, but as something that you have received! You can’t get anything better. (Tiny)

Answer
Very nicely said Tiny. Many people will find support for this. The best thing you have found, your soul love will never be taken away from you, but you will continue to lead yourself. The feeling is so deep, nobody can intervene. And women often have a hard time with it, but don’t forget the men, even if they go at a distance, they have it just as hard as you. Perhaps even more difficult, men process / express this in a different way. But they have more feeling than everyone thinks. (Renate)

Answer
Yes that is possible, certainly if the life lesson is to give love and also if one of the partners must learn to overcome fear of attachment. I experienced everything myself, not fun but the reality. And yes, he will come back or not, I can only be open to it and in the meantime continue my development. (Unknown)