J.

I cannot let go of you, nor hold you back
Even though you are sitting next to me on the couch
With nothing in between
I feel your energy, your presence
But also your frustration and sadness for the great impossibility
Are these emotions yours or mine
All things that I feel
Coming of the both of us
Sometimes it feels like I’m living for two
I feel your hangover after stepping
I feel your joy or sorrow like the waves in the sea
You look at me and I see eyes that want to say more, much more than they do do it now
I look back and in thought I give you a kiss
I love you and nobody who knows
This is my secret, our secret
No word, no gesture I will ever forget about you
When you leave, my heart will bleed and I will look forward to the next time I see you.
This love keeps me alive and sometimes I wonder what I deserve
I was never so happy and at the same time so torn
In the last few years that this came my way so much has happened to me
I have known you for a long time and always had a special bond with you
But since three years I know that no one on earth love it