A.

Could shoot him when I met him. What a blood-irritating guy. Immediately ask those brutal questions. I thought what would I do with my bike here. But I fell in love with him.

The idiotic thing is that two months before I had written a story about a woman who was involved in a relationship with a man who made a whole series of assumptions about her future wishes, without consulting her in advance. He confronted her with cohabitation plans without testing whether she wanted to. Something that happened to me too. As soon as I indicated that I didn’t think that was self-evident, I stepped on long toes and threatened the other to pull the plug. I don’t understand anything of that. What does that have to do with love? In the relationships that I had it always happened that the man in question initially appeared very charming and independent, but as soon as ‘the loot’ was inside it turned out to be incredibly old-fashioned and also leaned back. And from the moment that a joint home was involved, it became completely furry, then I suddenly became the mother of the woman, the potatoes had to be on the table at 7 o’clock, the house on hand, the empty coffee cups remained on the table (for you honey) and I was allowed to pick up his dirty laundry from the ground. Just disrespectful, I cannot say otherwise. I was not asked anything about the household, it was assumed that I did just that, despite the fact that I, like them, also worked full-time and even studied for a while. I had to move about heaven and earth to make it clear that it is normal for you to divide tasks fairly. And if the gentleman had once hung up a bookcase, then almost the whole world had to know. Pffff. Can’t say anything other than that they behaved like spoiled princes who thought it was normal to get everything presented. Of course it says everything about myself that it always happened to me. But I was completely fed up and decided never to fall into that trap again. I also didn’t feel like a relationship at all anymore. To be honest, I no longer believed in love either. I thought it was a lot of instigation.

And then I met him. Sometimes I literally hear in advance what he is going to say and I feel exactly what he is feeling. Even without being together. I have no idea if it is the other way around, but it doesn’t really matter and maybe I imagine it all. But I feel connected to him in a way I have never known. Initially it made me scream crazy and I always tried to get control of the situation but it didn’t work. Step by step I let go of the check and got to know myself completely. In retrospect, I was partially ‘off’ before I met him. I lived almost entirely from my mind. Was already trying not to care too much about what others thought of me, but after I met him, I was swept back and forth so emotionally that I saw every corner of myself. I now know exactly what I have for myself. It was also incredibly tiring all those emotions, you just don’t know what happens to you. I was also left with a lot of old pain in my stomach that I had to continue working. Because I now know myself well, I also know where my limits are. Not an easy process, it took me a lot of energy and tears, but I am happy that I surrendered to it. I now know who I am and I am confident that it will never happen again to me that a man presents himself differently than he is and that I (again) fall for it. you just don’t know what happens to you. I was also left with a lot of old pain in my stomach that I had to continue working. Because I now know myself well, I also know where my limits are. Not an easy process, it took me a lot of energy and tears, but I am happy that I surrendered to it. I now know who I am and I am confident that it will never happen again to me that a man presents himself differently than he is and that I (again) fall for it. you just don’t know what happens to you. I was also left with a lot of old pain in my stomach that I had to continue working. Because I now know myself well, I also know where my limits are. Not an easy process, it took me a lot of energy and tears, but I am happy that I surrendered to it. I now know who I am and I am confident that it will never happen again to me that a man presents himself differently than he is and that I (again) fall for it.