The sleazy spanjard and Bambi

Hello, I found this site by accident. February 19 this year I met the person I thought was my twinflame. I am 100% sure that we are from the same soul group.
On this day I almost drove my bike through the glass, and was forced to stop. He came from the crowd, the sleazy spanjard, just as my nickname for him was. To tell me that there was nothing wrong with my band. Nailed to the ground, I stopped. This is him, I thought, how crazy it could be. No matter how I tried, there was no movement in my legs.
When I went to drink tea with him a little later, we suddenly stared at each other and felt very weird. I saw a blue mist hanging in the room, because I see energies and auras. And I heard a click sound three times. We felt strange and unreal at the same time. Since that time we were inseparable for 9 weeks. Especially on a communicative level we had such a deep level, I have never experienced that. On a spiritual level we have experienced things that you can hardly imagine. By staring at each other we were able to merge into each other, so that we were 1 together , without having sex involved. It felt like I was being gently lifted out of my body, and became 1 with him. But unfortunately it didn’t take long.
The sleazy spanjard is a man with a very tough life behind his back, he has, as I always told him, never taken a single piece of paper from his backpack.
Moreover, we had done a meditation together, and ended up in a different life. It happened spontaneously, just wanted to teach him how to learn to meditate. Both have a different life. I have seen a life where I was his daughter, and we were particularly attached to each other.
He has seen horrific images, namely that I was his wife in another life, and had died, leaving him and our daughter behind. He then begged me to live, but I had to die.
The sleazy spanjard was so shocked by this, and partly because of its unprocessed past, it broke down.
Our relationship was so intense. He said after 1 week I love you and I want a child from you. His feeling told him this, while he could never have understood this rationally. Because he knew it couldn’t be that fast. We even tried to get pregnant … unfortunately. Later I told him that this strong feeling was probably due to the fact that we had already had a child together in that other life. I have often met our daughter in meditations. very intense and emotional, especially I have a very strong desire to have children in this life, and unfortunately still unfulfilled!
After that we stayed friends for a long time, partly due to the band. in one way or another we could not do without each other. Like I said we had such a deep communication level. We stimulated each other, held each other in front of the mirror.I sometimes said to him smiling, talking to you feels like a fierce sex party.
I also know what our lessons have been. I was not strong enough on my legs, he taught me to love myself . how bizarre it may be that he taught me this lesson, while he doesn’t love himself. It’s a big, handsome, tough guy, with something very mysterious about him. but I always called him a scared little boy, and then he never knew where to look. because I was right. I was the only woman who told him what it said, who told him everything. Other women just swarm around him, want his attention because he looks pretty good. Talk him to the mouth. And yes, he was quite a mess. but with me he was only very small and vulnerable.
Through me he learned that he has to work on himself, probably have to call in help for his unprocessed past.
Until recently, we have decided to break the contact in order to process it properly. He finally admitted that he had not coped with me at all. And he needs time for this to come loose.
We are both incredibly clear to both of us, and I have also opened doors for him in this area.
But I also know that he has a dark side now that he has discovered this, and I am sometimes afraid that he will choose the dark side. Now you will all be calling en masse, hands away from that boy !!!
But you do not know him as I know him, apart from the fact that he can manipulate, in the form of attraction and repulsion. Is it the sweetest tenderest man you can imagine? Who would never hurt a hair of mine.
I know why the dark side is calling him, this is because people have used and abused him. If you then feel that you have gifts, you will be tempted as it were.
Why do I understand him so well? Exactly yes I went through the same as him. only I have had help with my past in the past.

I cannot describe the pain I have without him. it is so intense that sometimes I think I will tear apart. I miss my buddy, with whom I smoke cigarettes well into the night, and tell stories. or just say nothing, but still feel good, and stare at each other wordless for minutes.
I want to come loose.